The Cat’s Out of the Bag – Now What?

Last week I did it. I ripped off the Band Aid hiding my truth: everything I learned about business, I learned over a lap dance. Meaning, my time as an adult entertainer armed me with an arsenal of skills, and a level of comfort in my own skin that translated into my foundation for operating in business, and well in life.

So what? Aren’t we (mostly) passed the days when people baring it all can be shocking?

Maybe.  Not in my family of uber educated conservatives or in a business career built on being the consummate professional.  However, I owe more than owning my first home to dancing. That world literally saved my life.

How could an immature teen, with a poor sense of self and a belief that money was the panacea for all of life’s ailments emerge from life as an exotic dancer to find a life fueled by passion?  Well, you’ll have to wait for the book for the full story, or follow along here for some hints in the coming weeks.

For now, know whatever path you’re on, it’s ok. If it’s not the one you want, you have the power to turn the page to a chapter that makes your heart sing.

Looking for a place to start?

Below are a couple of my favorite books for starting the process of connecting passion and purpose in life.  I’ve included links to each author’s Ted Talk if you’d rather get an interactive taste before committing to an entire book.  And of course, you could always comment below or hit me for a little extra inspiration.

• The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything, by Ken Robinson
  • https://www.ted.com/speakers/sir_ken_robinson
• Lean In: Women Work and the Will to Lead, by Sheryl Sandbergh
•      https://www.ted.com/speakers/sheryl_sandberg
  • Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Action, by Simon Sinek
    • https://www.ted.com/speakers/simon_sinek

I Have a Confession

Have you ever closed the door on a chapter in your life, and vowed to leave it behind for good… a job, a way of being, or even an ex-relationship? (Yup I said it). I think we all have in one way or another.

Growing up, one of my mom’s favorite expressions was: ‘one door closes and another opens.‘  Solid, optimistic parenting for sure… Yet, perhaps I took her words too close to heart as I eagerly ran through life from one chapter to the next.

As life progresses, my past chapters have been archived; hidden in the vaults of my memory where my secrets are safe. So, today, June 2nd, the eve before my thirty-sixth birthday, it’s time to share my secret.

I’ve written my first book; a coming of age story. A story about a college drop-out, turned stripper, who tours the circuit as a headlining Adult Feature Entertainer and ends up taking the business world by storm. The first chapter of my adult life took place behind closed doors of America’s greatest strip clubs; that is my secret.

I believe in order to be truly fulfilled in life that we must embrace our entire life journey. I am forever grateful to the world of Adult Entertainment for empowering me to take control of my life and for one hell of a first chapter.

I hope by sharing my story others can find a little inspiration in pursuit of their own dreams. If SHE can do that I can do [fill in the blank].

So, what doors in your life have you closed? Is there a doorway you need to walk through on your path to a deeper level of fulfillment, or living the life of your dreams?

Don’t hesitate. Every chapter is deserves to be celebrated. And always remember, the pen is in your hands. At any given point, you have the power to say this is not how my story is going to end.

 

Is there a chapter you’ve left behind that has had a positive impact on your life?  Or a new chapter you’re getting ready to start?

 

Use the comment box below to say thank you to that past chapter, or to declare the start of your new chapter. I’d love to hear from you.

Finding Magic In A Different Approach

I’ve heard people talk of the same action in repetition expecting different results as the definition of insanity. Yet, as a human being who thrives in structure I find myself, at times, guilty of succumbing to the monotony and tunnel vision that comes with career-goal orientated focus.

I never realized focus with laser precision comes with a cost.

Despite four job layoffs in seven years, my blessings on the career front have been immeasurable. Something wonderful happened in repeatedly getting kicked out of the sandbox. I’ve found new places to play and expanded the perimeter of my playground grew.

At the same time, while I’ve enjoyed telecommuting / home office privileges, for five plus years of the last seven, truthfully apart from a few extended family trips, I’ve spent the bulk of my work hours glued to my lap top tethered to conference calls. Bills and advertisements stack up in the mailbox, empty trash bins at the curb and I only come up for air after dark.

That’s no way to live.

Amidst our Sunday morning routine my love peaked out from behind a mountain of laundry. “I want a life we don’t need vacation from. I want to travel and have more adventures.” Her words, like a gift I didn’t even know I needed, touched my heart and stirred my soul.

That was sixteen days ago.

She gave her two weeks notice as she preps for a new path, a masters in cyber security. Her sights set on the flexibility of a work-from-home-career. My client visits scheduled for the next few months, I can literally work from anywhere in the interim.

And just like that, we’re on our way.

Two and a half hours is all that stands between us and all the enchantment that is the Hawaiian Islands. Aboard our packed 737 passengers are surprisingly still. Babies sleep, couples rest and I settle into isle seat 19A with a peace in knowing this trip marks the start of a new chapter in our life.

Cheers to 2015 and designing a vacation-like lifestyle.

Does your Personality Shine as Bright Online as it does in Real Life?

I want to shine. I want an integrated online presence. Meaning, it’s time for me to connect the dots between my blips on the internet radar. I’ve put the proverbial stakes in the ground, my flags have been hoisted to the world, well to a very small few, but it all stops there.

I’m out there, but have taken little strategic approach to aligning online Jaime K with real world me and to most importantly creating meaningful engagement. Seriously, my online audience engagement boarders on nonexistent. Facebook likes tend to come from closest friends and family, and that’s all because I’ve still be using online in the broadcast sense, “this is who I am – look at me.” (Barf! That’s a five year old syndrome.)

I realize today, that while I’ve spent the better part of the last fifteen years helping companies & clients deepen their customer relationships across multi-channel marketing to drive engagement and sales, I’ve failed to apply what I preach to my own online microcosm. Seriously, 1000+ LinkedIn connections may seem great, but how much substance is there? Likely not much since the bulk of those connections in recent years have taken on the form of business card roulette. (Caveat: I don’t fish for contacts or accept every link request, but overtime have become far more lax in who I accept and how much or little we engage.)

So, it’s time for me to grow up; it’s time for a multi-dimension internet presence with personality. One that shines!

It will be a journey, a marathon of sorts, not a sprint, but I’m excited. I will share my plan, process and progress on my blog (www.findingmyfire.com) along the way. Who knows where this will go by this time next year?

I invite you to join me!!!
– Maybe you’re interested in a similar project for yourself?
– Maybe you’re savvy at this stuff and you’re willing to share some juicy nuggets?
– Whoever you are, if you’re reading this, it’s not an accident.

Join me in some fashion, it could be fun… I want to hear from you.
Below are 3 ways I would love to keep the conversation going by hearing from you… pick one!

1) Follow my blog by entering your email here: http://findingmyfire.com/?page_id=443
– I’ll get notified when you do and in return will email you a secret

2) Hit comment to share a thought about this post below

3) Message me on Facebook, LinkedIn or Email

Ready for the Next Chapter

As my own little version of ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ comes to an end I overflow with gratitude for the juicy, rich experiences of the past six and half months. The time to focus on nothing other than personal passions is surely a gift from the universe. My person quest of sorts for this time, beyond an abundance of adventure: renewed personal congruence, i.e. the ultimate roadmap. I set out to create a grand plan; one for aligning my soul’s life purpose with career while incorporating a deepened desire to be of service, and of course, a new direction towards which I could charge full force.

My reality? I’m still working on it. Instead, my perspective and perhaps even my spirit have shifted. Dare I say grown?

This master purpose driven life plan I seek is more like a puzzle. The framework, those smooth-edged-pieces we tend to start with first, is the life I’ve already been living. I get to tap into my deepest passions when living an adventurous life – traveling, training / racing, writing and of course sharing all of it with others (family, friends, new faces). The time away from traditional workforce has brought endless adventure.

From the tropics of the Virgin Islands to exploring the shores of Maui and every pit stop in between, this time in my life still feels like a dream. Amidst all the fun I’m proud to check off some pretty big goals in competing in my first Ironman 70.3 Triathlon, completing the first draft of a novel I hope to get published and logging some serious volunteer hours with a nonprofit I’m committed to help growing in our community.

As I face a new start date, with yet another traditional j-o-b, I realize I’m not abandoning my puzzle. Instead, I’ve been given a new piece. A unique piece that just might help bring it all together.

Has anyone seen my magic?

I’m entering or likely have already entered one of those phases of life where my universe is going to shift. Perhaps it’s already shifting and it’s the process of growing pains that leaves me fighting myself in search of renewed energy?

A few weeks back something inside me changed. Amidst the chaos of one of those awful work days that makes every fiber of my being scream, “stiff cocktail” all thought vanished. I closed the liquor cabinet and heard my inner voice on stereo, “This is not what my life is going be“. I grabbed my iPod, Asics, hat and gloves and hit the pavement, covering eight miles before coming back home.

Less than a month after two weeks of Brazilian paradise, I would have expected to be full if life. I imagined my personal batteries for work, life, über fitness focus to be so fully charged I’d be back in touch with my inner spark, living my magic. Instead I’ve lost it.

Now, when it’s time for the full court press, when big deals are closer than they’ve been in ages, when I’m reaching a point in my career where I have an opportunity to really make my mark, something inside is holding onto that night and my inner thought that this isn’t it.

I tell myself I’m restless. That this phase will pass, but I don’t quite believe my own words. I tell myself a job can be just a job sometimes and that’s ok, but that doesn’t fit either. I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve had my priorities backwards. In chasing knowledge and financial rewards somewhere along the way I gave up on and began to ignore deeper desires to have a positive impact, to connect passion and purpose to career beyond my own gratification.

I’m left with a new question: well if this isn’t it, what is it? Right now, I know I don’t know. What I do know is that I faith that one day at time, one step at a time, I will find my way and just maybe, even a little more magic along the way.

What Do I Desire

As I waffle between mixed emotions from the end of my romantic relationship, the excitement of rediscovering myself and a whole slew of distractions I’m getting present to a new clearing. It’s invigorating and petrifying all at once. If my life is suddenly not bound by my self imposed constraints, anything I want for myself and my life is now possible.

Great, but what do I truly want? That’s such an open ended question.

I feel like career success will come. I know I want to put more time into my writing, developing a personal brand and expanding my platform for impacting others. I know I have a calling and I will find it.

Love? Well, that one isn’t as clear. I thought I knew what I wanted and twice now I thought I had found a life partner. I’m a passionate person who feels and finds connections with a broad spectrum of people. Some may say I fall in love too easily. I have a clear definition of love (true acceptance for someone exactly as they are and especially as they are not), so perhaps love is not my quandary. Perhaps I need a clearer understanding of what I want and ultimately what I want from a partner? Something to ponder for another day…

Dangerous Intersection Approaching, Mind Blind Spots

It’s no secret I’m forever seeking new levels of fulfillment in all I do in life: career, relationship, my future. Reeling in all life has brought my way is wonderful, but I have never and will never be a person satisfied with the status quo. My double edge sword, pillar of my being; I’m driven to evolve, even at times when I don’t quite know where I’m yet headed.

Something deep beckons for change while my little voice urges caution. Perhaps both are fear driven or premonitions of something new near in my future. Combined, I feel like I’m smack in the middle of one of my life’s biggest intersections.

I don’t see a clear path to growth in my current job. A top tier MBA could be the accelerator I need, but comes with a hefty price tag. I never figured myself a ladder climber, yet here I am playing corporate America. Simultaneously, I wrestle with a long distance relationship being more complex than I could have imagined. At the same time the distance may soon be irrelevant as I work to get clear on whether or not I’m really up for taking on creating a family in the pretty near future.

So many questions to ponder, one common thread: I need clarity around what I really want. Approaching mid thirties my bandwidth for detours is shrinking. While I’m not the lost little girl of last decade, I’m suddenly unsure of so much, must step with caution.

8 Days a Week and 140 Nights

At times I’ve craved nothing more than to getaway. Give me a ticket to somewhere, a ticket to satiate my internal need for excitement. Adventure! This time last year, the crux of my self-proclamation to ‘take more me time’, was an underlying pillar I planned to bring to fruition as a part of my new foundation for exploration: more travel. I loved it, craved it and perhaps even need it; to just get away and explore.

My quest for adventures through travel didn’t start last year. It’s been present my whole life. In college I used tuition money to join a science expedition in the Amazon River Basin for a few weeks. In the years following I performed with a musical theater troop traveling the country, while searching for a better understanding of myself. I once thought I’d experience all of our continents before turning thirty.

I also remember how often my dad used to day ‘be careful what you wish for, for you may not know what to when it happens’. The “it” in this scenario is travel. With a few more continents to go and several places on my wish list for the first time in my life my fire for travel is smoldering. I love to travel and will make it to all the places on my list someday. I have no doubt.

2011 brought me away from home 140 nights. Sixty seven days into the new year, here I am, enjoying life in the middle seat of a cross continent flight thinking Dorothy said it best, there really is no place like home.

Funny Thing About Books

On the heels of Thanksgiving with Christmas just around the corner tensions are rising on the work front. Clients charge towards year end as support staff in my company is fragmented with folks cashing in on remaining personal days. The icing on the cake is a serious of behind the scenes mistakes I’m trying to manage with grace and ease.  While in reality, I’m losing sleep and internalizing stress in a way that makes me want to say “Screw the gym and give me a cocktail!”

I must remind myself I work in marketing, lives are not at stake and there is only so much that can be done in a day; time for a breather.  In an effort to escape today’s reality I turn to my reality of this summer and am reminded of all that’s right in my world.

Growing up I remember the advertising campaigns promoting books as access to escaping reality, a way to visit far off places while never having to leave home.  I didn’t get it all those years ago, but over time have definitely found great solace in words and books.  Little did I know that one day books could not only be an escape, but I’d be able to create my very own book to take me back to away.

Falling in Lov…

 

By Jaime L. Konzelman

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