Today is Her Day

In a nature cove overflowing with wildlife lives a soulful-spitfire. She watches the Great Blue Heron feed in her backyard pond; graceful and quick he avoids the fierce Florida gators. A youthful spirit, spontaneous and kind, I’ve never seen her shy from a challenge.

She has always valued juicy life experiences: skiing the slopes of the Catskills, whale watching in the Canary Isles or hoping in line for twofers to catch a Broadway show. In the name of adventure she never said,” No.” Through her actions she is the epitome of living life to the fullest, and all along I, her fortunate sidekick.

She gets in over her head occasionally, a take charge-do-it-herself kinda gal, but always finds her way to the other side. Demolishing floor tiles with a sledge hammer, putting a deposit on an RV unbeknown to her better half, smuggling a smoked turkey past the Nothing to Declare Customs Agent early one Christmas morn. Her life is unbound by traditional constraints.

She loves water slides, snorkeling and everything chocolate. My zest for life and knack for embracing fear grew from her spirit. In most light our profiles cast the same shadow. We celebrate her today the seventy-first anniversary of her birth, and every day. A wonderful woman, my forever best friend: My Mom.

Live Like You’re On Vacation

Spring is here and with it comes so much. Longer days, warmer weather and our foliage in full bloom. For me, triathlon season starts, farm-to-table meals and patio dining return while my playful nature comes down with a case of spring fever. I’m reminded to soak in all the greatness that is another season.

Ok, so there’s also spring cleaning, allergies and taxes, but in my world all small hurdles to the energy and warmth I love so much about spring.

The last few weekends have been dreamy. Post first race of the season a small crew of the most loving, inspirational folks in my little Las Vegas world checked into The Westin at Lake Las Vegas. Poolside cocktails, good ole fashion s’mores roasted over a bonfire on the beach under a full moon and just the right balance of eat, laugh, breathe. Easter weekend brought clear skies and stillness, i.e dream cycling weather, pool time at home with family, in-house massages and a western horseback ride into the sunset for a cowboy cookout.

It’s weekends like these that remind me to be grateful for all life brings, for getting to experience so many things I love with the people I cherish most. While too many family members are just a bit too far, they are always in my heart and I will appreciate their next visits just that much more.

Whatever spring brings for you, I hope it brings you joy and peace. Life’s too short to take every moment so seriously, so laugh a lot, learn from your mistakes and get over things quickly. And, when all else fails take a little vacation time for yourself, even if only a few moments.

The Unacknowledged Influence

Long before I had my first friends, real life lessons and so much you were there.

As I started forming my first thoughts and ideas, even though I didn’t know it and would never have admitted it, I looked up to you. You shaped far more than you will ever know..

We all grew up and life’s accordion has brought us varying levels of close and apartness, but in my heart I have always known we are closer than we seam. You have always been on my side.

When I say I love and respect you at the deepest levels, my words hardly feel significant enough to represent all that I hold for you in my mind and in my heart. You believed in me before I believed in myself.

I am who I am because I have sisters who love me.

While we have all taken different paths, the footprints I follow, those that help guide me when I am lost, support me when I stumble and humble me when at times I have gotten a little too big for my britches, all belong to my sisters.

I am blessed to have you, honored to be one of you and am excited to see what the future holds for us. Times will change, people will come and go, but sisters are forever!

Finding the Crown Jewels of Life

I believe in fate and the power of the universe. With that belief comes trust even solace that even when things in life appear to be going all wrong that perhaps the silver lining is yet to emerge.  So, on the eve following the night a burglar has stolen every piece of jewelry I have ever owned, I’m reminded of darker times when my attachment to sparkly fine jewels was likely born and am able to realize I no longer need shiny material accessories to fill deep internal voids.

You see, I remember a time when I longed to feel pretty and adorning my body with fancy jewels made me feel better. Also other moments when I felt out of place or disconnected from people and a glance at my $5,000 watch gave me confidence. Jewelry became the panacea: a reward for life accomplishments, solace in dark times and an indulgence to feed my ego.

I will always love jewelry. Yet, today I know I no longer need it. I have to believe that if nothing makes its way back to me that is because the universe has a bigger plan for my treasures. Perhaps my comfort level in my skin, amazing friendships with my family members and family level bonds I’ve found with my friends are all the riches I really need?

Tonight I am reminded that belongings are just stuff, but not the stuff that matters most.

Perhaps a new tradition?

I’ve never really been a fan of the uber commercialism surrounding the holidays. This year, I skip out on tradition to indulge myself in a slightly overdue real vacation. The weekend and a 19 1/2 hour flight are all that remain before my feet feel warm sand and I melt into all that is Rio De Janeiro.

Time flys, friends move, I check off more goals. The list grows. New ideas, faces and places. What’s it all about anyway?

Make money? Make an impact? If you had one legacy to leave, what would that be?

Faster, stronger, leaner – great.

Luxury, status, power, freedom – yes please.

Family, friends, love – the cornerstone of my universe.

Oh Brazil, whatever experiences you hold for me, I’m coming!!

Who is that Man in the Mirror?

Have you ever noticed a pragmatic personality; an all or nothing person who views the world as black and white?

Perhaps you’ve experienced stubbornness; unwavering opinions with roots strong enough to withstand a hurricane?

Maybe you’ve experienced a tough exterior only to see it melt in the face of kindness ; an honest, hard working soul who is strong, sensitive and quick to think and act?

All of these traits exist in me, but long before the me of today, lived a man who also embodied this persona, a man who possessed all these traits and so much more.  You may not have ever met him, but in knowing me, you have already experienced pieces of him.

My slightly crooked smile, crystal blue eyes even stature all mirror his.

My drive and ambition were born through his teachings to never give up on something I want.

My sensitive stomach, flat feet even affinity for fine spirits all part of our shared DNA.

Days at the docks, blue claw crabs, country music and camp fires will always bring me back to our memories.

No longer with us in body, but always in spirit, the man in my mirror is my dad.

I see you, I feel you; you are always a part of me.

Richard J. Konzleman, 3/8/37 – 11/15/06

The Tree that Needs More Water

This time last year I began a quest for a deeper level of life fulfillment, to reconnect with my personal passions, to make more time for myself.  Like the flick of a light switch, it happened; I’ve been doing it, living it and feeling blessed for all the universe has been allowing me to experience.  Now, out of the blue, but building for years, a person I cherish is in a place I can only describe as the polar opposite.

A fixer by nature, this is something I can’t fix. I can love, support and continue to find ways to be supportive, but none of it feels enough.  It’s as if I’m watching someone drown while my rescue tools, the life lines in my arsenal are broken.  I am powerless and I hate it.

Suddenly my new personal riches seem insignificant, even overly self serving and narcissistic. A people pleaser and innate caretaker of others it has taken conscious effort and diligence to truly put myself first. Yet, in this moment I can’t help but wish I’ve invested more time in the people I say matter most, my family.

 I’m not abandoning last year’s quest. Instead, I’ll make a renewed commitment to those I love and find a way to share more experiences with them.