I am a free spirit: a thinker, dreamer, do-er, loyal friend, mentor and student, who is driven to evolve, full of passion and playful; a true Gemini, I can be easily distracted without losing sight of the prize; a gym rat, triathalete, table dancing, tequila shooting, romantic, who loves people, eating with chopsticks, house music, sunshine and moments that make memories; while craving at the deepest levels of my core, new experiences, positive energy and the intimate touch of a woman, but first and foremost, I am a human being.
The essence of my human experience boils down to my inner quest for acceptance, understanding and vitality.
Who I am is community, courage and love; these are the pillars of my being. I am strong because I once feared being weak. I sang an inner monologue, while suffering in silence: “I don’t need anyone and I don’t care”. I’ve since found deep levels of interpersonal connection in abundance; true love of others and myself by learning to embrace vulnerability. I’m constantly learning new ways to breathe through fear into action and I aspire to empower others to do the same. Proud of my accomplishments and grateful for my family, friends and all the universe brings my way, I’m not unfamiliar with the taste of humble pie.
My coming out process, well, that’s an experience of another color. Eleven years of inner turmoil along my path in search of “normal”. You see, who I am doesn’t fit in a box. I tried being straight, bisexuality never felt quite right, nor any of the variations I tried on: ‘near queer’, ‘bi-by-situation’, ‘hetero-flexible’. Nothing felt like me.
The confusion disappeared when I gave myself permission to fully own that a woman is the being I crave for myself and my life. By society’s standards of needing a label, that officially makes me lesbian, a BIG homo for sure. 🙂 The taboo beyond the label for me, is that I know gay is my choice. I’ve fallen in love with both men and women over the years and during each relationship was monogamous, invested and fulfilled. Yet, for me, true magic at the depths of my soul is fed by the energy and enchantment in the sacred energy exchange of giving myself and receiving another woman.
Do we really live in a society so provincial that the complex dynamics of human attraction, gender, intimacy and sexuality can be neatly compartmentalized into labels like bi, gay and straight? Kudos to Gaga for empowering millions with her Born this Way Anthem! Nature verses nurture? I’m not entering that debate. My curiosity questions how our own unique neurological pathways play a role. Perhaps the animals that we are our neurons know, no gender and it is personal beliefs and societal norms, specifically our desires to either conform or refute that plays the biggest part.
For better or worse, personal perceptions shape our reality and explain why two people can be present for the exact same moments in time while having drastically different experiences. I know the truth belongs to each individual, existing through personal, unique experiences. I’m a yes to maximizing my human experience by honoring and living my inner truths and I invite you to do the same. Namaste!
What is The Human Experience? It is the validity in your story and the story of 7,000,000,000 other people in this world. How do you put a label on being human? You don’t. You open your heart and listen. This is the foundation of our publication, The Human Experience, and we want to hear your story. Join us in spreading the diversity of the human experience with the world by sharing your story. Find out how to share your story with the world.